Hi friend,
Here’s 1 idea, 1 practice, and 1 question to create more expansive connections.
One idea to consider
There’s a difference between being nice and being kind.
Being nice often involves superficial pleasantries and avoiding conflict for the sake of harmony. It's about maintaining a pleasant surface and can sometimes involve being agreeable just to appease others or avoid discomfort. Niceness is often driven by a desire to be liked or accepted, and it may not always be authentic.
Being kind, on the other hand, involves a deeper level of genuine care and concern for the other person. It's about being honest, yet compassionate. Kindness means doing the right thing for you and the other person, even if it's uncomfortable or difficult. It's driven by empathy and a true understanding of what the other person needs, not just what they want to hear.
One practice to try on
Choose kindness over niceness through the practice of compassionate honesty.
You can start by communicating your feelings and thoughts honestly, but with a strong sense of empathy and understanding for the other person's feelings and perspective. Here's how to get started today:
Self-Reflection: Understand your feelings and motives before the conversation.
Empathetic Listening: Listen actively and try to understand the other person's perspective.
Gentle Honesty: Express your thoughts and feelings using "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory.
Focus on Solutions: Look for ways to move forward, rather than assigning blame.
Respect and Understanding: Acknowledge and respect the other person’s feelings and viewpoints.
Balance: Be truthful yet considerate, avoiding unnecessary hurt while ensuring your message is clear.
Follow-up: Check in post-conversation to show care and foster a healthier, open relationship.
One question to ask
“What's a memorable or important lesson you've learned from a mistake you've made?”
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