💌 Connection #30: The Body Keeps Score

1 idea, 1 practice, 1 question

Hi friend,

Here’s 1 idea, 1 practice, and 1 question to create more expansive connections.

One idea to consider

Your body often reacts before your mind understands.

We like to believe that our reactions come from thoughts or decisions. But a lot of what shapes how we show up in relationships lives in the body first. A tight chest. A shallow breath. A sudden urge to withdraw or over-explain.

These responses aren’t flaws. They’re learned patterns. Signals from a body that’s trying to protect you based on past experience. When we ignore them or push through, we stay stuck in old loops. When we notice them, something softens. We get a little more choice.

Connection feels easier when our body isn’t on high alert. When we feel safe enough to stay present instead of bracing for impact.

One practice to try on

Pause your body before you continue the conversation.

The next time you feel yourself getting tense, reactive, or shut down, take a brief pause.

Just one slow breath longer than usual. Drop your shoulders. Unclench your jaw.

You don’t need to fix the feeling or explain it away. You’re simply giving your body the message that it doesn’t have to rush or defend right now.

These small pauses change how conversations unfold. They create space for curiosity instead of protection.

One question to ask

“What does my body need right now to feel a little safer?”

💡Like this week’s question? Ask it on Letterloop in your own private group newsletter with friends, families, and teams.

🤎 New around here? We’re so glad you stopped by today. Join the newsletter here — it’s completely free.

💌 Enjoy this content? Forward to a friend. Writing this took 5 hours, and we’re sure it’ll spark new conversations.