💌 Connection #30: Parts To Be Loved

1 idea, 1 practice, 1 question

Hi friend,

Here’s 1 idea, 1 practice, and 1 question to create more expansive connections.

One idea to consider

Inside each of us are parts that learned how to survive before we learned how to feel safe. Younger parts that carry fear, longing, or shame. Parts that learned to stay small, stay busy, stay pleasing, or stay quiet to protect something tender underneath.

These wounded parts aren’t broken. They’re holding stories that never got witnessed. And when they’re unseen, they don’t disappear. They get louder. They leak into our relationships. They look for love in urgent or indirect ways.

Healing doesn’t happen when we exile these parts again by judging them or trying to outgrow them. It happens when they finally feel included. When they’re met with curiosity instead of correction. Love instead of pressure.

One practice to try on

Offer love inward before asking for it outward.

The next time you feel a big reaction—clinginess, shutdown, defensiveness, longing—pause and gently ask yourself: Which part of me is asking to be loved right now?

Place a hand on your body and imagine offering that part what it needed back then: reassurance, warmth, permission to rest, or simply attention. You don’t need to solve anything. Just let it know it’s welcome here.

Often, the more we love our own parts, the less urgently we ask others to complete them.

One question to ask

“Which part of me has been asking for love the longest?”

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