💌 Connection #20: The Four Elements of Love
1 idea, 1 practice, 1 question
Hi friend,
Here’s 1 idea, 1 practice, and 1 question to create more expansive connections.
One idea to consider
In "How to Love," Thich Nhat Hanh writes that true love is made of four elements: loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity.
Loving kindness is the ability to offer others happiness. This can be cultivated as you create more love and more peace within yourself.
Compassion is the ability to understand and ease the suffering of others. It involves being present with others in their pain and taking action to help relieve their distress.
Joy is the ability to find and share happiness in the present moment. It means celebrating both your own happiness and the happiness of others, bringing lightness and delight to relationships.
Equanimity is the ability to remain balanced and stable in all situations. It involves loving without discrimination or attachment, maintaining a calm and steady presence even during difficult times.
One practice to try on
The Four Elements of Love Practice — A 20-minute daily meditation
Loving Kindness (5 minutes)
Sit comfortably and close your eyes
Start by sending kind wishes to yourself: "May I be happy, may I be peaceful, may I be well"
Then extend these wishes to someone you love: "May you be happy, may you be peaceful, may you be well"
Finally, extend these wishes to all beings: "May all beings be happy, peaceful, and well"
Compassion (5 minutes)
Think of someone who is going through a difficult time
Breathe in and acknowledge their pain: "I see your suffering"
Breathe out and send them support: "I am here with you"
Consider one small action you can take today to help ease their suffering
Joy (5 minutes)
Recall three simple things that brought you joy today (a warm cup of tea, a friendly smile, sunlight through leaves)
Feel the happiness these memories bring
Think of someone else's good fortune or success
Practice genuinely celebrating their happiness without comparison or envy
Equanimity (5 minutes)
Imagine yourself as a mountain - steady and unmoved by changing weather
When challenging emotions arise, observe them without judgment: "Anger is here," "Sadness is here"
Practice accepting both pleasant and unpleasant experiences with the same steady presence
Remember: "This too shall pass"
One question to ask
"When you think of moments where you felt deeply loved, what was it specifically about those moments that made you feel truly seen and held?
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